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Har mod asaan nehi hota, har mod pe khushiya nehi milti.
Jab hum zindagi ka saath nehi chhodte toh
Mohabbat ka saath kyun chhode??


Whats Your View ????

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Do you think "Marriages are made in heaven" ?

Its an age old concept...

Actually i find it difficult to believe it when i look around me...the society ,activities of human being,psychology and the intentions.

While growing up with time you gradually realize that whatever you can ignore but not the truths.

I have shared my personal views on this concept.

Go through these posts and share your views...

The Ordered Society...

Conversation With My Son...A Futuristic Conversation on Practicality and Marriage

Close, Closer And Closest To God...Part 1 #MyFriendAlexa

Close, Closer And Closest To God---Part 2 The Explanation

Lets Face The Truth

Uncertainity Principle, Society And Myths

Earning Without Investment 

I am taking part in #MyFriendAlexa in @blogchatter 


Earning Without Investment

"Money begets Money"

so true it is, in front of money your talent and feelings are nothing.

The word "Corruption" has not come into existence in just few months, for long and long years the common people has noticed, faced and witnessed corruption in different fields,whether getting a job or to pass any official money is a big game so i don't want to talk about it.

"Buying a job" is nothing new concept, from past several decades people, who have the capability,buying jobs where the most eligible ones are ignored or getting it hard to achieve their goals finding  a way in the narrow lane which is left after the corrupted portion.

without going to such common way of earning i wanna focus on the issues where even without spending a single penny you can earn a lot, what i am gonna share is  too much prominent now a days or not i don't know but if we go back to thirty or forty years ago,we can easily experience how your money is not spent at all but you can earn a huge amount.
Yes, i am talking about dowry, where you actually don't need to spend money but you can earn a lot, earlier days when dowry used to exist in this society with his own fame and glory,those days the amount of dowry used to vary according to the designation of the grooms,yes designation of the grooms... the more higher designation the grooms ...the more the dowry amount used to be, not only the amount of money the parents of a bride had to pay rather the golden jewellery, furniture and some expensive gifts to the groom they had to give. In short , the grooms used to show their monthly salary and the parents of the brides used to pay the amount of dowry very happily.

Though the practice has changed a little bit in this present society but the truth has not...govt jobs are still the preferred ones for the family of the brides,may be the scenario has changed a bit and private jobs are preferable now a days but the point is...amount of money plays a vital role, its not a gentle behavior to ask for the monthly salary so they ask about the designation to guess the salary.

Its very common to experience that the family of the grooms taking money from the family of the brides for the reception party after the marriage.

Few days ago i have come to know about a girl who has still kept relation with her ex-boyfriend even after the three years of her marriage, the narrator and some other people criticized the girl for such unethical work, when its about Big Bang,the people with common sense ask the question after hearing the big bang theory and the question is..."what was there before big bang"? and i swear i have common sense to some extent, not only the question "what was there before big bang" knocked into my mind rather about the girl i asked "why did he get married with someone else when she loves a boy whole heartily" and the answer i received is...her parents forced her to get married, now the rule of the society and in which circumstances you have got married does not matter, you have to carry on this marriage at any cost, your preferences, feelings and desires does not matter.

Actually she has been forced to get married with someone else coz her parents came to know about her relationship, the boy with whom she was/is in love was then an unemployed one so her parents even did not talk to him and arranged her marriage almost overnight,ready made earnings are most preferred....i don't think she is doing  wrong keeping relation with her boyfriend, this incident took place three years earlier and just after one year of the marriage of the girl his boyfriend has qualified for a job....
So, what played the vital role in the whole incident, who cares for the feelings,desires and capabilities specially in such issues.


Later in my post i will share about an eminent personality...he was rejected by the parent of his beloved and later he has left a sign of his love which is too big to explain...let the suspense remain. should i follow him !!!!!...confused, 219 shayaris are tiny in front of his work, Compared to him...i am also tiny.

now here is the most interesting part of this post...a boy who is in love with a girl for more than last seventeen years and for such deep love he has got only a cup of tea made by her where her husband eating delicious foods prepared by her, her boyfriend belongs to a middle class family and her parents always wanted a ready made rich family for the marriage of their daughter.
when i listened the entire story i wondered...only a cup of tea is the value for such a long term feelings !!!!!!

So, the more the salary is...the more the amount of dowry.
The more the salary is....the proposals(Sending + receiving) to/ from the more rich families.

The more the salary is...ladies, pls check why you have been preferred...for the salary or for  your good character !!!!! if you are practical...nothing to suggest.

"You know its really very tough now a days to run a family with a single income "...its so common na ?...Money begets money.

Be practical with strong financial background is a big support.

Be practical girls...the more the salary of your spouse  the more secure your life is.

I am taking part in #MyFriendAlexa in @Blogchatter



Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

जुदाइ का ये असर तो देखो

शराब भी बेअसर हो गया

नींद तब भी छुटी थी आंखो से 

तलाश आज भी जारी है.

i am taking part in #MyFriendAlexa in @Blogchatter

My reading and writing hashtags are...#Jtheone and #TheJyotirmoy


Uncertainity Principle, Society And Myths

yah , yah, i am talking about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, those who have science background are well acquainted with this principle but those who don't have let me explain you in short...The position and momentum(Mass x Velocity) both cant be measured exactly at the same time.
Means, if in a certain time you are able to calculate the exact position then it will not be possible for you to calculate the exact value of momentum at that time and vice versa.

Heisenberg's uncertainty principle is one of the basic principles of quantum mechanics which deals with wave nature of particles.

Now think about the stone age or something like that time period, i mean the time when the human beings used to live in caves, did they have any idea about why it rains? yes, it was certain that water droplets fall from sky but they did not know why ? so the concept of creating rain God came into existence and worshiping that God during drought became a practice. May be you can raise question behind this thought but to make you more sure let me remind you about the tradition of worshiping God during solar eclipse, it was the belief of the people that due to two demons Rahu and Ketu the solar eclipse takes place, Rahu swallows sun and gradually sun comes out from other side because  Rahu is a head only while ketu is his rest of the body part, the original reason were not known so the concept of Rahu's swallowing came into existence, now the question is who brought this idea ? as i have shared in my earlier post titled...  The Ordered Society  in ancient India some genius scientists had deeper knowledge in different fields of science but on the other hand education was not so common, so they used to attach religious sentiment so that people perform the right jobs and get benefited, its true that after the sunset its not healthy to take foods, so to prevent the people from taking food during solar eclipse they attached a religious sentiment and made the people busy in worship and kirtan during solar eclipse.

when its about carrier or job its true that if you continue your efforts one day you will surely find a way out, you will not be a total failure at least, may be for some reasons it will not be possible for you to achieve what you exactly wanted but at least you will not be considered as total waist, somehow you will manage to do something, may be you have to accept  private job  when you wanted to be a govt officer, may be you have to go for business being unable to continue your study for some reason or not being selected in any interview but at the end you will be able to earn two ends meal; and necessary amount of money for your family, may be your status will not be something like upper middle class or middle class but there is a certainty that you will not be a total failure person, so here lies the certainty when you are fighting for your dreams, achievements and goals. When it is certain(Not a total waste) then you can ignore fate or God related to this issue. This is the reason it is said to the students...don't seat ideally depending on God, if you work hard, if you can take right decision at right moment and continue your fight facing the obstacles then one day you will surely be self dependent at least.

When we are not more than 80% sure about any incident which is gonna take place we have the habit to attach the name of God or ask help from him, just like....when someone starting a journey we greet him/her saying ...wish you a happy journey" means i am wishing that your journey becomes a happy one, but the question is..."wishing" to whom? obviously to the almighty who can control everything. Here also you can find the existence of Uncertainty principle,like...if anyone can be sure about the route but cant be sure whether he/she will meet any accident or not and if he/she takes care of a safe journey taking every step very carefully  then he/she can give guarantee that accident will not take place but cant make sure about the route ,so either you can be sure about the route or you can be sure that no accident will take place...both cant be exactly calculated simultaneously.

The problem becomes toughest one when its about human psychology, its really very tough to understand a human being, human psychology is one of the toughest subject cause it can exhibit any activity at any time, we all know this, no one can be cent percent sure about the activities of any human being, specially when you did not have spent longer time with him or her, a man can change with the experiences and with time and what the change will be is totally uncertain, if you ever have spent long time reading or trying to know human psychology then you are aware of it.

so what to do, marriage is one of the most necessary concept for the society to run the society in an ordered way and to keep a discipline but on the other hand, no one (Except God) can be sure about any human being because its become more important when you are taking decision to spend entire life with someone, so the wise persons of the society(who realized it deeply that no one can give cent percent assurance about a certain human being) attached the religious sentiment saying ..."Marriages are made in heaven" at least it will force the people not to leave his/her partner in small issues(which can be seen in love very often), on the other hand if anything wrong happens the couple will try to sort out the things at their level best,it will not be possible neither for the husband nor for the wife to be separate from each other cause the fear of God will chase them.

 By the way, i am not against marriage, neither i am against arranged marriage but attaching the name of God here and there, specially when it becomes a reason of suffering for the entire life then any such thought cant be accepted, if you want to know more then ask those wives who are beaten up by their husbands in daily basis, ask those wives whose husbands burn them with the fire of cigarette or biri, ask those husbands whose wives continuing extra marital affairs. Ask those girls who loves whole heartily her boyfriend, those who were dedicated to their loved ones but they are forced to get married with someone else and have to spend entire life .

In this context i want to share a tweet that i read five six years ago, so far i can remember the trend on parenting was on in twitter, a girl made a tweet on this trend, its one of the best tweets i have ever read, what she wrote is

...our parents do not even want to talk to the boy whom i know very closely for long time but they force us to share bed with a stranger.

I am taking part in #MyFriendAlexa
My reading and writing hashtags are...#Jthone and #TheJyotirmoy

Twitter handle is...@TheJyotirmoy 


Lets Face The Truth

This is my fourth post where i am sharing my thoughts on the myth of "Marriages are made in heaven"...

From the time my own thought process was growing up,i started to be conscious about the phenomenons around me and gradually my view points were forming, from that time to till now i don't know why but i never believed in arrange marriages, neither then nor now. Earlier i did not have so many view points towards this practice but now a days i am trying to find out whats the logic of my brain about arranged marriage and this has started to happen when i remembered something.

When its about arranged marriage i don't think the sentence is complete, i mean the sentence ..."Marriages are made in heaven" , the complete sentence should be ..."Marriages are made in heaven but fully controlled by human beings".

Hope in the history you have read that,  the kings used to get married 30-40 times(Obviously with different women) means 30-40 wives of kings were nothing uncommon, without going to site examples, let me remind you that in last two three decades after many rules and regulations now a days a man can get married only one time, to be married second time he has to give divorce to his present wife, now if you think marriages are made in heaven then think also that if by chance the restrictions of getting married is withdrawn then what is gonna happen?  hope you can assume it easily, yes it will be very common to experience that again some people will get married more than one it can be an issue of argument(logically you can argue) but my questions is...if the rules are withdrawn then can you assure me that not a single man will get married second time without divorcing his present wife ? can you give me the guarantee that like the kings not a single man will keep three four wives?

Until the rules are withdrawn we can never experience the truth but if you are well acquainted with human psychology then you can easily understand that...its good to listen that "Marriages are made in heaven " but the truth is not so easy...

Let me share an interesting marriage...

Just after the one month of marriage, Suparna  eloped with her boyfriend, her husband Ashoke started searching for another suitable groom and after three months of searching he found a girl and got married second time, on the other hand Suparna got married second time with her boyfriend named Subham..

Now kindly tell me which one of the upper mentioned marriages i should consider as "Marriages are made in heaven "?

oh,sorry, forgot to inform...the marriage of Suparna and Ashoke was an arranged one.

The interesting part is , when Suparna eloped with her boyfriend then the family members of Ashoke cursed her a lot and they cursed her more when they came to know  that Suparna has got married with Subham, ridiculous it is, is not it? i mean Ashoke and his family members believe that "Marriages are made in heaven " then why cursing Suparna ? they should had to accept her decision and most surprising is...when they completed Ashoke's marriages second time with someone else then they accepted it  saying...May be it was the will of God, total 180 degree turn(U-turn).

I liked the idea of Suparna to escape from Ashoke, the society will not take it easily, but personally i feel she has the courage to keep the promises she made to her boyfriend, she has a brave heart and truthfulness in activity.

In my previous posts i have shared some view points, the links are given below...

The Ordered Society...  

Conversation With My Son...A Futuristic Conversation on Practicality and Marriage  

Close, Closer And Closest To God...Part 1 #MyFriendAlexa

Close, Closer And Closest To God---Part 2 The Explanation 

For the first time i am taking part in #MyFriendAlexa in @blogchatter

My reading hashtag is...#Jtheone

           writing hashtag...#TheJyotirmoy

Twitter handle...@TheJyotirmoy    


Close, Closer And Closest To God---Part 2 The Explanation

That day after sharing my thought on the question "How do i know i am being close to God" by my friend Arpan, i suggested him to go back home and think about it.

For Part 1 Click the link below 

Close, Closer And Closest To God...Part 1 #MyFriendAlexa 

Next day evening,it was Saturday, when he stepped into my room and seeing me with a hot cup of coffee in my hand he asked whether he can have one or not, i showered my anger

...No, you are not gonna have this.

He was surprised with my sentence and asked 

...but why?

I replied with a smile

...its been more than fifteen days you promised that you are gonna give me a treat for your promotion but alas !

he replied

...i also informed that in the next month after having the salary i will keep my promise.

i threw the question much? 

he asked being confused


...your salary idiot,after the promotion.


i was almost falling down from my bed, he laughed out with my reaction.

what are you gonna do with that amount

...i already informed you that i will buy a car.

...oh, ho, that santacruz 

i cant remember the names of the cars and the bikes neither their models,he is well antiquated with it so he replied with laugh

...yes. Santacruz.

i had to stop the conversation coz i went downstairs to prepare the coffee for him, after returning back and handing over the cup i asked

...its your fate that is giving fruitful results like santacruz, not only that, your huge bank balance, your house which you have made four storied from three storied one, 24 hours AC and your world tours all these are the fruits of your fate.

Like earlier he denied my concept and explained, what about my days of struggles, my hard works, smart moves, the decisions i took about my carrier and the obstacles i faced and fought with those? those sleepless nights i spend for my study ? man is the maker of his own fate, you know i never believed in fate or luck and if we continue this argument then it will go on for long time, neither i nor you will leave our stand points, so lets change the topics.

I did not allow my joyous mind to come out as smile in my face after listening him(because i already knew that our previous discussion will start soon and then i can use his logic against him), i answered

...yah, yah, its better to change the topic.

He raised the discussion of Mr Shankar according to you Mr.Shankar, who has gone for four marriages back to back giving divorce one by one and presently has got married for the fifth time is very close to God coz "marriages are made in heaven" ? i don't think its a good example.

...but its a myth that "Marriages are made in heaven" , then how can you deny that its the God who is responsible for the marriages of Mr. Shankar ?

...there is something wrong in your example, i can feel it but cant figure it out exactly. know actually there is no difference between you and Mr.Shankar, except one.

...what are the similarities, tell me first

...when you achieve your goal...the higher degrees, good job, promotion,salary hike then its your hard work that is giving the fruitful results and when Mr. Shankar gets married four times then how will you define it ? is it an easy task to trap the girls , is it an easy job to wash their brains, is it easy to go for divorce, for all these he needs to work hard, he needs to make smart plans, he needs to spend sleepless nights thinking how to achieve his goal just like you...

...thats what i wanted to say. marriages are not made in heaven?

Arpan was very surprised with my question, he exclaimed can you represent Mr. Shankar as a general personification ?

...logically, if  its true that "Marriages are made in heaven" then you must have to admit that its applicable for each and every human being, you are attaching the name of such a super power ,the Almighty, and you are forcing me to accept that sometime with some marriages the Almighty has nothing to do, then the concept must be wrong...

He interrupted me

...your logic is good but the example of Mr.Shankar is very exceptional and what about general personification

...i can represent Mr. Shankar as a general personification

...pls explain

...answer me, will you get married with a girl who has passed only class eight or ten ?

...will you go for inter cast marriage?

...will you get married without seeing the picture or meeting the girl before marriage?

...will you prefer a girl with black complexion

...will a billionaire will send marriage proposal to you with his daughter?

...max probability is no., "No inter cast marriage", "girls with fair complexion", " girls with good degree", "girls from middle class or upper middle class families" and blah blah blah, who is setting all these criteria?

...its me, logically, when you decided to get married and your near and dear ones including your family members start searching for a suitable bride informing their known ones about the criteria, they already blocked lots of ways from where you could get marriage proposals..."Blocked the way"...remember it


...then you start to get lots of proposals from the directions you set, now you will go for analysis and calculations seeing the pictures of the girls and meeting with them and finally you will select one, right?

...yah right. tell me, when its about your carrier and achievements  then its your hard work,smart moves, your decisions are responsible, and when its about your marriage then you immediately attach the name of God !!!!! but its clearly visible how you took the decision from the day you decided to get married. Logically, when you will achieve something then its your credit and when its about marriage then its God who is responsible !!!!! your goal was to achieve a good job and salary whereas the goal of Mr. Shankar was to trap the girl in the name of love and get married with them and in both the cases God has nothing to do.

Taking a short gap i started again

...the most important point is...when Mr.Shankar is doing it then you are using the word "trapping the girsl" and when you will do it then its God who  arranged it...but in the both the cases "Marriage" is taking place, as i told you there is only one difference between you and Mr.Shankar and that is "Honesty" , you both are hard working and dedicated towards your goals and aims but the ways are different, you are doing it in honest way on the other hand he is using dishonest ways.

...but, how can Mr.Shankar be presented as representative of everyone who are getting married or have got married ?

...just cut out the two things...Dishonest and the myth "Marriages are made in heaven" and you will understand that Mr. Shankar has no difference with others...just like you,who will get married, you are applying so many conditions like Mr. Shankar, just like him , you will select a bride with analysis and calculations, you will meet them, you will take time to decide, you will reject some of short, its you who is executing all the activities then why unnecessarily attaching the name of God?

...why you have so much irritation for the concept that "marriages are made in heaven"?

...Because anything that forces the people to live a deprived live should be avoided and needs to be changed, forcing  a couple to spend live together whose mental attachment and bonding has broken badly cant be a good concept, forcing a girl who can clearly understand that his life partner chose him to get married only for her property cant be a good concept, there are innumerable numbers of problems, mental trauma and tortures some husbands and wives are facing but yet they have to continue their entire life with their spouses because they are forced to do it with the concept.
"Marriages are made in heaven"

Marriage is nothing but a well planned decision of two human beings and their family members for the necessity of life to run the society in an ordered system.


 its not the God who plays a vital role rather beauty,looks, financial background, social status, jobs, salary etc plays vital roles.


For the First time I am taking part in #MyFriendAlexa by @BlogChatter 

My Reading hashtag is...#Jtheone

And writing Hashtg...#TheJyotirmoy(this is my twitter handle also with @ as prefix)


Close, Closer And Closest To God...Part 1 #MyFriendAlexa

I don't know what actually has happened to my bosom friend, from past one month he is reading only religious and spiritual books, sometime borrowing from me or others or sometime bringing from library and asking me lots of questions.

yesterday evening the same thing repeated, when i was roaming in the dining hall and was shouting in a rhythmic tone, i mean i was singing song, suddenly my friend appeared there,taking a seat he threw the question to me would i know i am being close to God.

I suggested him

...its your time to think about your marriage, find a suitable bride and get married,produce child and concentrate in your married life.

Replying him i laughed out.

i am serious...there was an irritation in his voice.

i replied in a serious tone you know Mr. shankar.

whats the relevance of Mr.Shankar with this topic?...he replied with irritation.

Answer my question...i replied with an ordering tone.
he asked

...which Mr Shankar? that one from my neighborhood colony who has got divorces four times and got married fifth time  recently.

i replied with a smile...yes.

now kindly explain the relation between my question and Mr. Shankar...he asked

he is very close to God and i am not making any joke...i replied

my friend was surprised hearing this and asked me very curiously

...he is very close to God? but how? he does not have any attachment with any religion, so far i know he does not believe in the existence of God or something like that.

i replied does not matter what he believes or not and my dear friend the answer of your question lies in how you defined him, i mean "four divorces and fifth marriage"

...what are you saying, are you making fun.

i explained not at all, four divorces means four marriages earlier and presently the fifth marriage and all these are not possible until God showers His blessings upon anyone cause..."marriages are made in heaven" and i think after death Mr. Shankar will surely and directly enter into the heaven and will get a good post in marriage making office which is under the surveillance of God coz...
              "Marriages are made in heaven"

To Be Continued... 

i am taking part in #MyFriendAlexa in @Blogchatter for the first time.

for my other writings on this concept you can visit the links below...

Conversation With My Son...A Futuristic Conversation on Practicality and Marriage

The Ordered society