"Mohabbat bhi Zindagi ki tarah hoti hai
Har mod asaan nehi hota, har mod pe khushiya nehi milti.
Jab hum zindagi ka saath nehi chhodte toh
Mohabbat ka saath kyun chhode??


Social Media And Psychology

(Facebookians=Those who wait for the likes and comments  on their pictures after posting)

when i decided to open an account in fb i have to take lots of safe guards...


if i would have not made the reason clear to the people who are closed to mine then i could have get some slaps,kicks and the thrushes of their sandals and for this i really would have not blame them coz for long years i have raised the question...why should i count "Likes" or why should i wait for the "likes" posting a picture of mine?

Specially two of my most closed students ,one who is addicted to fb and other social media thus playing a gambling with his own future and is unable to make himself separate from social media to concentrate fully in his carrier and study, another one who never had a fb account and will never open account there(until he gets a proper valid reason behind it) because he can relate and realize what i have made him understand, now if these two students came to know suddenly about my account in fb and then if they tried to thrush me with their sandals and shoes then i admit that it would not be their fault.

So after my involvement in my colony i suggested them to make a page in fb to promote the cultural events of our colony and my colony members given the responsibility in my shoulders. i opened an account with the name of the character i played in the drama(Last year Durga Puja) for which i get huge appreciation and most of the colony members started to recognize and call me with that name, i opened the account with that name so that my colony members can relate with me and can realize who has created that page and submitting the posts.

from 2010 i am in twitter, accessed it for long three years spending a good amount of time there, then i started to use it again(after joining blogging) in a profound way after a gap of three years.
I use facebook only to make the post about the news and activities of my colony, except that i have no connection with it ,this is the reason i have been able to get only 24 friend in last eight months(shame on me).

Now whats the common notion about Facebook among the people or what is the common activity most of the people performing in fb is...posting a pic they count the number of likes.

 fb itself does not ask for your picture all the time rather they ask..."what's on your mind" and earlier they used to ask ..."what's happening"(so far i can remember").

yesterday for the first time i searched some of my co-bloggers there to see what is their activity and what i found(In a humorous note)...

Oh. my God !!!!! my co-bloggers have become pure "facebookians" there, just like other facebookians they are giving comments to the pictures,those comments are just like the other facebookians which neither have excellency of English(Or any other language) nor have anything short to some extent cheap(not as much as cheap like the regular facebookians ) and monotonous comments, their activity ignited the thoughts in me...Ramkrishna Paramhansa Dev said..."Jekhane jemon sekhane temon"(jahan par jaisa wahan par aisa), which is the same as..."while in Rome behave like Romans", so what wrong my dear co-bloggers are doing making comments with cheap English and monotonous discussion?

My social media experience says...

To be in should have good hold in English and Hindi and simultaneously should have good knowledge in any of the contemporary issues like...sports, politics,religion or society.

To be in should have excellent writing skill and also should have deep knowledge at least in one genre.

To be in Facebook...a good camera,if not then a good mobile which has a good camera quality, some dresses like jeans, t-shirts, shirts,leggings, tops, lehanga, some hot dresses and should have some knowledge in photo editing plus lots of free time to use the camera, dresses and for the photo editing.

I know few people who have invested more than lacs of rupees in their dresses just to post picture in facebbok to get more and more "like"...yes, its true, i have not exaggerated at all.

Except these some people are doing some good works also in fb.

In a humorous tone....

Story 1
i noticed the doctor is wearing the dress for the surgery and he is in hurry, being curious i asked
...Hi Doc., why are in hurry? is the condition of the patient degrading, does the patient need surgery right now?

Doctor(while taking his stethoscope)

...oh no, the patient is totally ok, even i can go for his surgery after six days.

...Then why are you heading towards the operation theater for that patient? now i have shortage of pic for fb, i need some fresh and new pics, while doing the surgery my attender will take pics and make recording which i will share in fb.

...Just for "Likes"?

...yah, obviously.

Story 2
The President of India ordered the commander to launch the missile for enemy country.

The army men after getting the order became excited too much and after few hours we got the news...Kolkata, one of the metro cities of India with skyscraper buildings has turned into a flat area for the missile launched by the Indian army.

Investigation team started investigation in this issue and the report they submitted is
...The army men did not have fresh and good pics for their fb so when they received the order for the missile launch they became so much excited to take pics of their activity that caused the wrong direction of the missile.

Moral of the story is...some people are there who are dedicated to their works and also satisfied and for this they do not need public opinion, on the other hand who need to use social media have certain promotion, publicity(brand or any other things) and marketing, except these one category is also there...who share pics for the shake of the "Likes" and "comments" only.


Does not it reflects your mental dissatisfaction (towards life and in your day to day activity) when Facebook "Likes" matters so much for you when you are doing it only for "Likes" and "comments"?

By the can easily guess what will happen to the patient if such an upper mentioned doctor performs the surgery....


Girls and Realization...One Sentence Thought

if we look at the status of the women in our society then its clearly visible that in last twenty years women have changed their social status in a tremendous way, "empowered women" are now a days a matter of discussion and for this change all those girls and ladies have the credit who have fought against the dogmatic thoughts of our society,have proved themselves in different field, have matched their shoulders with the boys, have shown their mental and physical strength with extraordinary fighting spirit, there was a time when women were not allowed to step out behind the curtain, yes i am talking about that era when jobs and education were beyond the imagination of the girls and it took long years for the women to remove the curtain and to step into the outer world,"Rome was not built in a day" the same way "empowered women" have not come into existence in a decade but a huge change is not so easy to take place in a vast field, its not easy to come out from your ancient  traditional backdated thoughts, neither its possible to change your mentality so easily but for this not only the women have the credit rather a good percentage of credit goes to the parents who have been able to relate with the thoughts and desires of their daughters and have supported them facing the obstacles raised by the society but as i have mentioned above a huge change in thoughts removing your backward thoughts is not easy to take place and so some girls are growing up with those backdated thoughts which they have learnt from their parents and my earnest request to those girls is...try to know yourself as much as deeply as you can otherwise your curiosity can be harmful for others, not clear? OK, let me explain it...if you have been brought up with the thoughts that you are a girl and you should get married as soon as possible when you become eligible for it after a certain age(18+) and if you believe it whole heartily then you should be clear what you want to do and what you should not do, without a single effort to make you understand "what you should not do" i will prefer to focus only on a single activity where you can show "Humanity" or better to say "your common sense",  now if you ask me why i am avoiding to make you understand "what you should not do" then let me inform you cover up this topic i have to write a lot and at the end everything will be gone over your brain so its better to avoid such fruitless effort and i think i should concentrate in the issue which any human being with minimum commonsense can understand easily and the issue is...if you don't have fighting mentality, if you are a parasite, if having all the facilities you prefer to spend life depending on others so you are trying to get married as soon as possible just after crossing the certain age then please never ever try to fulfill your curiosity towards "Love" by accepting someone's proposal (whose age is not much higher than you) knowing that how deeply he loves you coz you dont have the fighting mentality neither an indomitable spirit so naturally you will use "love" as a fun or a game which can hurt  the feelings of your boyfriend cause you neither have the mentality to fight for your love nor have the mentality to give time to your love life because you have been brought up to get married whenever you get a suitable groom so, "Know thyself" as much as possible, try to realize your mentality and stop playing with the pure and true emotions of the boys only to fulfill your curiosity but here i admit that curiosity towards "love" is very common after a certain age but if you can understand yourself in a deeper way then you can avoid hurting them and also on the other hand you can fulfill your curiosity  after the marriage through your spouse which will help you in  both the ways...neither you will suffer from guilty consciousness(if you have conscience or consciousness) for playing with the emotion of  a boy  nor you have to make plan for breakup.

P.S. :- Few months back i have come to know about a girl who have been caught five times with different boyfriends and her actual nature has been exposed and on the other hand a boy loves her from past few years, earlier he never listened to anyone whenever some people have tried to make him aware about the nature of the girl but at present he is blaming himself for being in love with a wrong girl.

"Mohabbat galat nahi hota...galat insan se ho jata hai."


Jamaishasthi...Reflection Of Patriarchal society

Today is a very special day...oh Sorry, i should have used "Auspicious" 


Today is a very auspicious day in Bengal,
Yes, according to the "Tithi" today in bengal "Jamaishasthi" will be celebrated

ha ha ha ha....just remmemberd what me and my sister used to explain the meaning of "jamaishasthi" during our school days..."Sosur barir gustir shahsthi pujo"
now the phrase..."gusthir shahthi Puja" means...kisi ka bara baja dena( to exhaust someone by torturing them indirectly).
This is what actually happens in this day...
A grand feast is arranged for the son-in-laws in every house(those who have) and they are treated as a king...
Fishes which are available in average...Rs150-200 per kg takes the height rs 300-500 per kg.

Hilsha (Elish) becomes available from Rs 1000-1200 per kg whose rate in other normal days varies from Rs 400-500 Per kg.
the price of the fruits becomes three to four times higher.
why i am talking about fishes? coz an age old tradition for this day is to serve the fish head,should be a big one to the son-in-laws, a small fish head or medium sized can be considerd as lesser love to the son-in-law.

Now comes the dress...yes, every son-in-law should receive some expensive dresses from their in-laws house, earlier Dhooti and Punjabi were the traditional one but now a days...shirts, t-shirts and jeans are also welcome.

Another traditional thing attached with this ritual is...Umbrella, earlier days with the dresses umbrella used to be an important gift, now-a-days it can be replaced with rain coats.

But if you think about foods the fish head is enough then you are wrong...there should be more and more items in lunch,breakfast and dinner.
Lets have  a average...

Loochi and Aloor dom(Potato curry) and Begun Bhaja (sliced and fried brinjal), minimum two types of sweets in breakfast.
In lunch...

1.boiled rice
2. ghee
3. shukto(a must one )
5. potato and brinjal fry (Traditionally five crispy fries)
6.minimum three-four types(actually "five" according to the tradition) of vegetable preparations.
6.a preparation of fish head, preparation of other different fishes  (traditionally four fish items)
 7.chicken(average 140-160 per kg but today it becomes rs 180-220 per kg) is not allowed yes...there should be mutton whose average rate is rs 400-500 per kg but this day it takes the height rs 900-1000 per kg.
9. curd,
10. soured chutney,
11.Sweets...minimum three types.

An average lunch items for the son-in-laws

For more info with a real life experience you can go through my post on this same topic which i shared last year in my other blog...

Jamai Shasthi—Reflects Patriarchal Society

so i hope you can understand that me and my sister were not wrong about this tradition...think about the financial burden the families have to take so that...their daughter get proper respect in the house of in-laws...psychologically this fear always knocks them, specially until the couple completes five years of married life with good understanding.

Not a single parent can even imagine to skip this tradition(Out of fear?????) just after the marriage of their daughter...the psychological truth.

now coming to the psychological point of view...every father-in-law and mother-in-law will express...they are doing it from the deep core of their heart and yes there is no doubt in this issue but what bout the Jamai(son-in-law), i personally believe...they should be concerned about the financial burden of their in-laws on the other hand the question which has become very common now-a-days is...there is "Jamaishathi" but there is no "Boushahthi or "Koneshashthi" (Bou or kone means married woman".
Whether its kaurva chauth or Shivratri or Jamaishasthi the women have to fast.

its just a tradition and from the beginning it reflects that our society has always been ruled by the men...the patriarchal society. There is a religious story behind this but how the Jamais(son-in-laws) has got the priority is purely a reflection of our patriarchal society, yes, with that religious story the Jamais(son-in-laws) are not connected at all.

so this is the day for the son-in-laws to spend the day with sumptuous foods and the mother-in-laws to spend with fasting and taking care to their jamais.

Now another truth is....if a son-in-law informs that he cant visit his in-laws house during this day out of work or have not got leave from office then its OK, but if the son-in-law can visit then his in-laws MUST HAVE TO ARRANGE IT.


Would You Ever

Only if you knew that was our last goodbye,

Would you have still let me go?

Only if you knew that we would be seeing “Us” together for the last time,

Would you have glanced a little longer?

If you knew that was our last skirmish,

Would you have fought a little more?

Only if you knew that was our last touch,

Would you have kissed me longer and held me in your arms forever?

If you could see my heart tearing apart,

Would you have still hurt me & have blew me years ago?


P.S. if we knew the reaction of our actions, how simple the life would have been. If we knew loving someone and then unloving them would cause so much pain and agony. Do you think, we would have hurt them so much? If we knew that this is going to be that last touch, last smile, last goodbye, just last, how different things would have been. But I guess this is what life is : Unpredictable & Unexplainable. 

Mansi Sharma Mittal is a blogger and a content writer who has worked with prominent brands. Her work has been published in Anthology 'The Seasons '. She also blogs at various parenting sites. She is currently working on her manuscript.To regularly blogs through
A mother by heart and a writer by soul is what defines her most.


Pest,PH And Poems : The Happiness Rains

Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

Its raining,
the stranger things.

Candid slaps,
Multi fold switches,
Tangled threads,
Adaptive randoms,
Enigmatic machines,
Dark discounts.

Its raining,

 Academician,  always a researcher, blogger (Its PH). Life until I started PhD (Computer Science) was more about studies, education and work. With 6 years of academic and industry experience, I knew PhD would open a lot of possibilities. By no means had I thought starting a blog out of research frustration would open up assortment of writing opportunities. I certainly believe there is lot more to explore. 


The Heart And The Words

तेरी खूबसूरती की कौन सी पहलू को बयां करें !!!!

तेरी की आँखों की रंगत को

नूर-ए-जहां बताएं

तेरे चेहरे की सादगी पे शायरी लिखे


तेरी गालो की रौनक
तेरे होठो की मासूमियत
तेरी पलकों की खुसबू
तेरे जुल्फों की घटा को
कविता बताएं !!!!

या फिर तेरे बच्चो जैसी  खिलखिलाती हंसी

तेरे दबे होठों पे गुनगुनाती मुस्कान

तेरी सुरीली ख़ामोशी

तेरी खामोश लफ्ज़ से दिल को बयां करने की अंदाज़

तेरी धीर सी आँखों में इज़हार पे

ग़ज़ल लिखे  II

या खुदा !!!!

क्या नायाब सकस बनाया तूने !!!!!!

शब्दों की कमी है और

एहसास है के  ख़तम नहीं होती II

For the first time i directly typed the entire poem while making it...thoughts continued to knock and i continued typing.