Last Friday while I was returning home from
Kolkata I experienced an amazing incident…
I was in a bus stoppage, waiting for the bus,
there was a girl who stood right side of me, she was also waiting for bus, as
the bus was about to come from the right side so I was looking for it, suddenly
I noticed a girl, she was coming from the right side towards the bus stoppage,
at first she did not caught my attention(its natural) then I observed that she
was gazing the girl who stood just beside me, the second girl who was coming
towards the bus stoppage did not stop gazing the first girl continuously until
she came close to us, first I thought that maybe she has found her old friend
and was trying to be sure before talking, but standing beside us she did not
tried to talk to that girl, I thought maybe she thought that the girl is an old
friend of her or classmate but now she realizes her mistake but at that time
the second girl did something and I became confused whether I should laugh or
After standing beside us the second girl touched
her hair with left hand, she kept her hair open and I must say it was lengthy,
the second girl was touching her hairs and was looking at the hair of the first
girl, she was trying to compare that whose one is longer?
So what my logic said is…
The second girl has the habit to compare
herself with others.
She possesses a jealous type mentality.
From where these logics came?
First of all, the second girl continued to
compare the lengths of their hair for one minute, she was repeatedly touching
her hair and repeatedly looking at the first girl. When she realized that her
hair is not as long as the first girl I observed an irritation and anger in her
Second thing is, the first girl also watched
the second girl, her hairs were also open but she did not do any type of such
Third one is, I am in the field of exercise for
past several years, whenever I see anyone who has good physique better than me
then I never touch my biceps or my chest to make comparison that whose one is
better, rather I become very happy seeing the people with six packs or eight
packs or stout figure.
Fight to win, not to defeat anyone
What I have believed from the day of my
consciousness that people should fight to be a winner, not to defeat someone.
Defeating someone does not mean at all that you are the winner.
It’s a common nature of lots of parents that
they compare their children with other boys, especially they compare their
children with the first boy/girl of the class of their children, it’s so
ridiculous I found…a boy or a girl who stood first in the class is undoubtedly
the best in the class of that school…and we should focus in the words “in that
school”…so when you are suggesting your child to be like him it does not
necessarily mean that if your child defeats the first boy of his class then
your child will be the best, giving such example actually you are shortening
the view of your child towards life.
A first boy is best boy of that class of
that school and if he is compared with other first boys of other school then
maybe he will not be able to hold the tag “best”. I have seen it…there was a
student who used to be the first boy of his school and after taking admission
to another school he did become able to hold even the third position.
We should guide the children and the students
to find their qualities, to be focused on them and to try to enhance those
qualities…if it’s done then he/she will surely attain the height of
I tried to make this understand to some of my
students, but who cares? Everybody wants to be either engineer or doctor or
scientist….it does not matter whether they have qualities or not. now a days i have stopped giving such suggestion expect few ones.
If I could suggest that second girl whom I met
in the bus stoppage then I would surely tell her….
First you try to know the texture of your hair,
then try to know the rate of growth, then try to know which type of shampoo and
oil you should use and at the end you must be sure whether you have any
psychological problem or not (if anyone has psychological problem it does not
mean she/he is Mad) because sometime the psychiatrists suggest not to keep long
hair for particular psychological problems, so to keep a long hair and to
compete with others you may be gone mad at the end.
Actually there is nothing particular that will
make you “best”, because everything in this world is measured with respect to
something and there are no limit of achievements, the more you achieve the more
are still to be achieved.
So know your goal, your likes and dislikes,
your qualities and limitations and focus on your target, don’t look at others…..specially
now, because the population of the world is almost 7 billion ha ha ha ha ha ha.