What actually God is…if you ask me this question I will reply…I really don’t know.
It’s been long years I have stopped praying to God except two three times in between. Earlier I had deep faith and love for God but now it’s almost vanished but it’s also true that when we feel hopeless, we found no way to solve our problems then we take shelter to God. We all have the notion that He is the greatest healer whether it’s a physical pain or mental, it is said that He can do anything… we have born and brought up with this thought…He is Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient, he is the director and we are the actors “Upon the stage” named World.
The most ironical part is…He behaves like a deaf when I pray something for myself but it’s also true that He has granted my prayers when I have prayed for someone else…though hardly two or three, this is the reason I don’t believe Him. But as I have said earlier…when you are unable to solve the problem, when you are hopeless, situation is beyond your control then you start praying…may be this is God…the place for ultimate peace, a ray of hope.
After a long time yesterday I have prayed to God a lot…
I noticed Puchu when she/he cried out lying in her/his mother’s lap. Yes, I don’t know whether that baby is a girl or a boy, I don’t know what actually her/his name is…Puchu is the name given by me. The age of Puchu is hardly four months and height is around 20 inches, like all the patient that family was waiting in the hall for their turn to visit the doctor. When I first time noticed Puchu then I thought may be Puchu’s dad or mom is here for check up but after half an hour when the attender went near Puchu and Puchu was in deep sleep, the aatender opened Puchu’s left eye and poured a drop but Puchu did not feel it but when the attender poured the drop in Puchu’s right eye then Puchu cried out but not for long time, cried for 30 seconds and again went to sleep.
This was really a painful scene to see a little baby suffering from eye disease, drop is poured into the eye before Optometric test and the drop was poured in both the eyes of Puchu means Puchu has problem in both the eyes.
When Puchu was in the Optometric room with her/his parents I could hear the sound clearly…Puchu was crying very loudly, the sound was twisting my heart, Puchu cried for three four minutes then stopped and came out after a while keeping her/his head in her/his mom’s shoulder and in deep sleep.
Puchu does not deserve it, why all these are happening with such a little baby, I really wonder, I found it very unfair, God could bless Puchu with a healthy life, Puchu could spent a disease free life but now Puchu has to suffer from Pains…specially when the treatment will go on…why ? It’s really very pathetic to see a baby suffering from disease, crying out of pain and facing uneasy situations.
A baby who even can’t control her/his finger, fingers are always in fist condition, can’t talk, can’t express her/his pains through words and can’t walk…why he has to suffer so much? Why? The condition of Puchu made me very upset; sitting in the hall I was somehow trying to manage my anger towards God and was trying to consolidate myself that at least after the treatment Puchu will be totally ok.
I thought to ask the parents about Puchu’s disease but I dropped the idea coz I was scared if I come to know puchu is suffering from any major disease then it will be tough for me to tolerate.
Yesterday was really a very tough day for me, after coming out from the nursing home the face of Puchu was continuously flashing in front of my eyes; I was unable to close my eyes while returning by bus.
If you go for spiritual analysis then maybe you will find reasons behind Puchu’s suffering, especially if you believe in re-birth, Karma and “Prarabdha”(Destiny) but my mundane thoughts, mundane feelings and mundane emotions could not see Puchu in that condition. It is said…there is a reason behind everything, so if there are spiritual rules then God must create another rule that is….if someone wants to take the suffering of any other then the prayer will be granted and the suffering will be transferred to the person…if this rule would exist then I would surely asked God to transfer Puchu’s suffering to me coz Puchu does not deserve it rather I deserve it a lot…I can show God more than hundred reasons why I should get such sufferings….but it’s not going to happen.
Really God exists? Yah, this question again knocking into my mind…if God is really so pure then His devotees should also be pure…there should exist people (the devotees of God) who is holy from heart, mind and soul and such devotees can wash out all pain of Puchu by only keeping his hand upon Puchu’s head, unfortunately it does not happen…never found any such great devotee, no one has this power…may be God does not allow it…why?
So we are born to suffer, we are born to spend life with physical and mental pains…we all have to face it.
But at the end I will pray to God…if possible then pls don’t give much pain to Puchu rather… no pain wiill be the best.
I don’t know from where Puchu came from, maybe I will never meet Puchu again but wherever Puchu is…I wish she/he leads a healthy and happy life.
The only consolation was…Puchu was in deep sleep, she/he was not crying all the time…we were in the same hall for three and half hours and Puchu continued to sleep all the time except the examinations and drops. Puchu was wearing warm clothes, a jacket with a hood covering her/his head, the hall rather the whole building is centralized AC, so in warm clothes, in a AC hall and in the her/his mother’s warmth Puchu found it the most pleasant moment to sleep. May be when puchu will be young then this incident, this pleasant feeing will remain in her/his unconscious mind and one day Puchu will ask her/his parents to buy an AC for her/his room…may be this time Puchu will be ok with drops and medicines and when later she/he will request her/his parents for AC then it will be so funny…I wish all these happens the way I have written here specially when the nursing home is famous for the treatment of eye all over the India.
Life is a battle and you have to fight, in a movie I listened the dialogue…to win the battle you don’t only need the sword but also the wishes.
So I hope you all will also wish for Puchu.